Thursday, November 14, 2013
One Rung at a Time
I become impatient and discouraged because I want the skip the uncertainty of those intermediate stages. In painting, in my life, how often I am tempted to abandon the divine ladder in the hope that I can jump aboard a divine elevator.
But just as I can't give into discouragement at the slow pace of opening up the icon, I can't allow myself to get discouraged avout being a work in progress in the spiritual life either. God is working to open me up, to fill me with the clarity and beauty of his holiness.
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
Sharpening The Tools
But yesterday afternoon while I was sharpening my woodcut tools, I thought about the way in which the tools of the spiritual life, get dull and need to be honed and sharpened. Some of the carving tools I was sharpening only needed to be honed to cut properly. Others were dull from long years of use, which required sharpening them with a whetstone. But there were a few that were (I'm ashamed to admit) so neglected and rusty that I needed to grind out the damaged sections of the blade and put an entirely new edge on the tool.
So I'm inspecting the condition of what St.Benedict speaks of as the "tools of the spiritual life." In the Latin of the Holy Rule, he employs the word used for iron tools -- shovels, hoes, chisels and knives. Which require constant care to keep them sharp and clean of rust. I think in the spiritual life, keeping the tools clean and begins and ends with the daily practice of charity. That is, I think, the purpose of the spiritual life, to become more and more an instrument of the charity of God, who is Love.
But at the end of the day, just as a tools needs to be cleaned, sharpened and put away, in readiness for the next day's work, there is the need, the necessity, really, for recollection. Without recollection, without solitude, silence, reflection and prayer, at least for me, the tools of the spiritual life get dull and rusty. It is easy for me to somehow see recollection as something to engage in when I have the leisure time for it, when in fact, it is a daily discipline that I neglect at my own peril.
Friday, September 20, 2013
Natural Icons
I am grateful for that reminder of the natural world when I pray and work there (grateful as I am to be in a dry and warm studio!). For the same reason I keep objects like rocks and shells and fossils in my little prayer corner, alongside the icons and prayerbooks. I like to keep before me a visible reminder of the infinitely varied, intricate and ancient order of creation ( a kind of natural icon) A densely black piece of shale picked up on the rocky beach, which may be 300 million years old helps me to remember and appreciate the immensity of geological time, measured in millions of years and my own, our own brief time in life, measured in decades, days and minutes.
God is beyond and behind time, yet i marvel that God invites me, invites us, to participate in his own eternal life (which is beyond comprehension) except with a loving, grateful heart, which, he generously provides and offers us.
Sunday, September 15, 2013
Te Deum Laudamus
I was getting ready to begin singing the Te Deum this morning when I realized that I had a lot to praise God for this morning. Only a week ago it appeared inevitable that the United States governmnet would launch an attack (or a series of attacks) on Syria, with the risk of escalating the already brutal and intolerable conflict there. Just a week ago we were on our knees storming heaven with prayers for peace, asking our good Lord for a miracle.
Being in the midst of events, it is impossible to know with certainty, but yesterday's diplomatic agreement to begin the process of identifying, securing and destroying Syria's chemical weapons, looks a lot like a miracle to me. Or, if not strictly miraculous, in the sense of the waters parting, loaves and fishes multiplying, the dead being raised, the weeks events appear to be the answer to our prayers, a miracle of grace for which I am grateful.
I know it's too early for THE Te Deum: the war in Syria hasn't ended after all, an estimated six million Syrians are internal or external refugees and a cease-fire leading to a negotiated settlement is still a long way off.
But I think it is also important to rejoice and to thank God at every step along the way, including for this answer to prayer. So my Te Deum this morning, sung each Sunday in praise of the Lord's victory over sin and death in his sacing death and life-giving resurrection, was in thanksgiving for this amazing turn of events.
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Lost in a Dark Wood
Yes, I know, Dr. Salvador Allende was a Marxist, albeit one who was democratically elected. He had his faults and failings, not the least of which was appointing Augusto Pinochet head of the armed forces in the forlorn hope that Pinochet could be trusted to defend democracy instead of destroying it. But he had his virtues too. Allende's very first act when he assumed power in 1970 was not to arrest all of his political opponents but to sign an executive order insuring that the poor kids who lived in the slums got a glass of milk each day to strengthen their bones and teeth. For him the larger issues of the Cold War were obscured by the tin and cardboard shacks where so many of his fellow citizens were forced to live.
Allende was the first of thousands to be killed in the coup that overthrew his government on September 11th, 1973, forty years ago today.
Marxism is rightly discredited: how can people be forced into paradise? But from the confines of the dark woods of a world where half of the people in it struggle to live on less than $2 a day, there are far worse guides than a doctor who became president of his country to give milk to poor children.
Monday, September 9, 2013
Seeing and Hearing
Pope Francis |
None of which is unexpected coming from the Vatican. The Holy See (and by extension, the Catholic Church) can be relied upon to always recommend peaceful rather than a violent solutions to international conflicts and disputes.
But in his call to prayer and fasting, Pope Francis spoke of the moral duty of every person of good will to pursue peace. In his announcement, he wrote:
But then, building on the foundation of a shared humanity and our ability using reason to arrive at natural truth (in this case, that we bound as human beings to pursue peace in every situation, he became a powerful evangelist.
Saturday, September 7, 2013
Only Love is Creative
It's impossible to grasp exactly all that is at stake in our President's apparent decision to intervene in the Syrian civil war or to predict what sort of new world we may all be living a week or a month or a year from now. But the necessity to ask the Lord to " convert the hearts of all who have taken up arms" seems more urgent than ever.
The truth is, to quote (inexactly) Pope Francis, there are no violent solutions. Violence, as we have seen at every turn in Iraq, Afghanistan, Egypt and now Syria, begets suspicion, fear, distrust, wrath, hatred, a desire for revenge and more violence.
A mother and a child. Powerless against the powerful and their armies and weapons. So true, yet, their embrace is both a sign and the embodied reality of love. About which another Pope, Blessed John Paul II famously said: ' Only love is creative.'
The love of this Mother and Holy Child is the lifegiving love of the Blessed Trinity that holds humanity, our world and the entire cosmos in being. Jesus, God's love Incarnate, depicted in the icon as a weak and vulnerable child tenderly embracing his loving mother, on the Cross overcame forever the powers of sin and death.
Tomorrow we will unite ourselves in prayer and fasting to the Divine Love, which overthrows the powerful, disarms the violent and raises up the lowly. May God strengthen us to persevere in prayer for the beloved people of Syria.
Thursday, September 5, 2013
Finishing Touches
Just the opposite. It's at this juncture that I find myself dwelling on the weight of my sins and begin to feel paralyzed by my undeniable inadequacies and limitations (which seem insurmountable.) It's just a squalid mix of fear and pride. Fortunately, as soon as I feel this coming on, I know enough now to put down the brush and pick up the prayerbook.
Tonight, when I felt myself being pulled down into that confusing place I was grateful to discover that the theme of the psalms and reading for Evening Prayer were all about humility. Although the important thing is simply to pray -- Lord have mercy is just fine -- the psalms tonight reminded me to trust in God's faithful love and leave it at that.
So I went back to finishing the icon. I completed the faces of Mary and Jesus and painted-in the inscription that translates "Our Lady Queen of Peace". (Thank you to Deacon Greg Kandra who supplied me with the Arabic text!)
Tomorrow I hope to complete the other inscriptions and the borders. I hope to be able to have the icon available at the Cathedral in Juneau for the Day of Fasting and Prayer for Peace in Syria.
Monday, September 2, 2013
O Savior, Save Us!
Aid to the Church in Need began a week of prayer for Syria that began on August 30th. The prayer they have proposed was my prayer today as I painted the faces of the icon of Jesus and his Mother this day.
Sunday, September 1, 2013
Mary, Queen of Peace, Pray for Us!
He invited Christians of all denominations, as well as believers of other faiths to fast and pray for peace in Syria on that day as well. I welcome his call to be in solidarity with all of our brothers and sisters subject to the scourge of war and its attendent disasters, to pray for them and to pray for peace.
Juneau, Alaska is a world away from Syria and the Middle East, but this afternoon following Mass at the Shrine of St.Therese, this group of Armenian pilgrims from California gathered in the chapel to sing the Lord's Prayer and to pray, which they did in the beautiful chant of the Armenian liturgy. They had heard of the Holy Father's call for prayer and fasting for peace in Syria and they shared with us that some of them were originally from Syria (where there are Armenian communities) or had family members living in Syria. Afterwards, they invited our Bishop, Edward Burns and me to join them for a group photo.
I am grateful to have had the opportunity to have been with these pilgrims as they prayed the prayer Jesus taught us. We are in the midst of a deepening crisis for all of the people of the Middle East but especially for the ancient Christian communities there who are faced with grave threats to their continued survival in their countries of origin.
May our prayers be joined to theirs and to those of all people of faith and goodwill to deliver the people of Syria and the region from the evil of war.
Friday, August 30, 2013
That Fountain, Filling, Running, Although It Is The Night.
I hadn't thought about it quite this way until this morning but I've been a reader of his for decades. His voice has been a steady presence in my life and I'm grateful for his writing and the witness of it, especially during the 'Troubles' in the north of Ireland.
The eleventh canto from his 1984 poem "Station Island" is one of my favorite poems by him. For me, it is a poetic meditation not only on the poetry of St. John of the Cross but on the fathomless depths of the mystery of the Holy Trinity, that overflowing wellspring of life and love.
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
No Other Remedy
So it was back to the basics. I ground the bole, first in water until it was smooth, then added the glue and ground it a second time.
I used a big brush --the biggest brush I could manage-- to float the bole on the icon. I don't know why exactly I held back earlier and applied it with a smaller brush, but I did and it made a difference. So the first layer of bole is back on the board and we'll see how it all turns out.
I keep a little collection of quotations by St.Teresa of Avila next to my prayer corner in the studio, open to this admonition of her's. It reminds me of my friend, the newly departed servant of God, Sr.Rosemary, who chose the quotations and designed each page with her friend Sr.Mary Grace at the Carmel of Terre Haute, Indiana.
When I look at her calligraphy I am reminded of her beautiful spirit. But I'm encouraged both by the words of St.Teresa and by my friend's example of perseverance in prayer and the hidden life of Carmel, not to give up on the 'one thing necessary', which is always communion with Christ in prayer.
My temptation in prayer which I readily admit to succumbing to more often than I like to admit, is to cut corners, to rush, to let my mind wander and then get so discouraged that I give up altogether.
So in the life of prayer, as in the work in the studio, there's no other remedy but begin again.
Wheel of Fortune
In our example of the "Rota Fortunae", (courtesy of aclerkofoxford@blogspot.com) a regal looking fellow wearing a crown is seated at the top. He is holding the symbols of earthy power. But his crowned companion to is right is already headed downward, his neighbor has lost his crown and his regal attire and the poor unfortunate on the bottom is falling off the wheel entirely!
But to his left, clinging to the wheel with all his might, another man is being slowly raised up and the man ahead of him reaches for the prize.
I too managed to take a ride this evening on the "Rota Fortunae" . Of course, my turn on the wheel involved (what else?) gilding. The wheel started turning as I began carefully applying gold leaf to the bole of the halo of the icon of Christ that I have been hard at work on for the past couple of days.
After over an hour of painstaking work, I applied the final piece of gold leaf. There I was, the fellow reaching expectantly for the crown and orb, which appeared to be just within reach. After waiting for the requisite length of time , I began gently burnishing the gilding. That was when Bella Fortuna gave the wheel a turn -- the halo wouldn't burnish! And then she gave it another turn -- each stroke of the burnisher was scraping off the gold leaf!
Something, it soon became evident, was wrong with the bole, which meant that it had to come off. All of it, which involved soaking the bole, scraping it all away and then cleaning off the muddy red clay mess smeared on the icon.
In the end not too much the worse for wear.
So I'm ready to climb back on the wheel. I plan on hanging on tight and hoping that I'm on the upswing as I get ready to gild that halo again.
Is it my imagination, or does Fortuna have a slight smile? And isn't she supposed to be blindfolded?
Friday, August 23, 2013
Within a World Torn By Grief
In returning to it again, for a more reflective re-reading, I was struck by this sentence by Ms.Yazykova concluding the introductory chapter:
"We will explore together the icon's path of development within contemporary culture-- a culture so often referred to as post-moder, post totalitarian, and post Christian-- and see that icons continue to be windows onto eternity, and, within a world torn by grief, the constant testimony to divine joy and the inexhaustibility of hope."
We are confronted daily with "a world torn by grief". During recent days, of course, there are the appalling reports from Syria of hundreds (possibly thousands) of Syrian civilians killed and wounded by nerve agents, presumably at the hands of the Syrian government. And the flight of tens of thousands of refugees from Syria to Iraqi Kurdistan (only the most recent wave of refugees trying to escape the murderous violence of the civil war in their country)
Each person who has been killed or wounded there, or who has been forced to flee, is not a statistic but infinitely precious to our loving Creator, the Father of us all, and thus, our brothers and sisters. That they are Sunni or Shia, Christian, Alawite or Druze adds or subtracts nothing from their human dignity, made as they are, in the image and likeness of God. Each of them is a living icon, a witness, even in their suffering and torment, to the compassion, goodness and love of God.
Far removed, except in the solidarity of prayer from so much destruction and sorrow, It is good to be reminded as an iconpainter of my vocation to work in the service of the icon, the silent but eloquent witness to the One who is Beauty, Truth and Goodness.
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Ora et Labora (continued)
The red bole on the halo is a mixture of clay and glue. First, I breathe on the bole. The warmth and moisture of my breath makes the bole become sticky for just a few moments (perhaps 10-15 seconds).
Then I quickly press the gold leaf onto the bole and gently rub on the back of the paper that the gold is attached to.
It's a time consuming process, because in order to be able to burnish (or polish) the gold leaf, I have to gild the halo not once but twice.
It took me most of yesterday to gild the haloes and then to begin burnishing them.
Burnishing the gold also takes time - there is no rushing the process. If everything goes right, burnishing is simplicity itself. Using an agate burnisher (a completely smooth agate set in a wooden handle), you rub the gilded surface with the agate until it begins to shine. Piece of cake! Unless something goes wrong. Which always seems to happen. There may be tiny holes in the gilding or the burnisher lifts up some of the gold or there is one spot that just doesn't want to shine, no matter how much you burnish it. Which usually means making corrections (faulting) to the gilding. but in the end it is worth it.
These last few days have also been a time of prayer. I'm grateful that my studio is also my oratory.
My urgent prayer of supplication has been for Egyptian Muslims and Christians in the aftermath of the coup that toppled the government of Muhammed Morsi, the leader of the Muslim Brotherhood who was elected President of the country a year ago. This has led to demonstrations against the new government by Morsi supporters, demonstrations that that army and security forces have fired upon, killing hundreds of protesters in at least four separate incidents that can only be charactorized as massacres.
The reading, from the Letter of St. James, gives me much to ponder.
"Wisdom from above is first of all innocent. It is also peaceable, lenient, docile, rich in sympathy and the kindly deeds that are its fruits, impartial and sincere. The harvest of justice is sown in peace for those who cultivate peace."
May it be so, in our hearts and in the hearts of our brothers and sisters in Egypt.
Sunday, August 18, 2013
First Fridays
I had planned to spend this coming week in the studio with my friend Sharon, who is also an iconography student of mine. however, she is not coming because a dear friend of hers, who was in the last stage of a terminal illness took a turn for turn for the worse and died this past Wednesday. Understandably she decided to cancel her trip to Juneau and remain with her family and friends. This is a sad time for her.
Despite this change in Sharon's plans I will be in the studio next week, barring any developments at the diocese or parish that require my attention.
I hope to complete two icons -- the Korsun Mother of God and a second icon of Jesus during this coming week. They are intended for use at the Cathedral.
My colleague Barry, at the diocese had a great idea a while back which he shared with me. On the first friday of each month the art galleries and museums in Juneau have opening receptions for exhibits. they usually go from 4:00-7:00pm. what if, he wondered, we offered a different sort of art experience at the Cathedral: the opportunity to spend some quiet time in front of an icon. A time for quiet reflection and prayer with an icon after the exhibit openings were over.
That seemed like an inspired idea to me and I volunteered to provide the icons of Christ and of the Korsun Mother of God. My thinking is that with two we'll be able to alternate them each month.
This afternoon I began work on the cartoon for the icon of Christ. I'll be working on it and the Korsun Mother of God this coming week. Sharon and her friend Karen and her family will continue to be in my prayers.